Nobody wants to do the Crazy Things We Used to do
by SaL
Summary: The long awaited sequel to Nobody Left to Run With Anymore In which one of our favorites is haunted by his past
1. Don't look back

Nobody wants to do the Crazy Things We Used to do before

By SaL

A/N:  The long awaited sequel to Nobody Left to Run With Anymore

            In which one of our favorites is haunted by his past

            I don't know how many times I've washed my hands I lost count after fifty.  I've scrubbed and scrubbed but they remain stained.  As I gaze out the bathroom window I have the perfect view of my three innocent children playing happily with their uncle. Disgusted with myself I scrub harder till my hands are raw, but it doesn't help.  It just makes them worse, for my hands are forever stained, stained with the wretched blood from my past.  

            It's been six years since we killed him, six years and that damned blood haunts me still.  And no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to forget, but I have to.  I have to hide my past from my children.   They deserve a better life then I ever had, one with parents, one without violence, and one away from the deadly streets of New York.  

            " Allison, Marina, Mathew!" My wife Holly called.  

"But mom…" Ally whined.

"No buts, its 6:30 time for a bath then bed."  (a/n: remember bed times? Ack!) 

"Daddy…"

" Oh no I'm not getting in the middle this time." I laughed tousling my four-year-old son's hair.  He looked so much like his mother, the sandy blonde hair and bright green eyes.  Those eyes, those wild green eyes that remind me so much of an old friend.    Abruptly I was shaken from my thoughts by my children whining, "Daddy, daddy we don wanna go to bed."  Laughing I glanced at my wife recalling what she had done the last time the children had complained about going to bed.  The image of Holly dragging our three children kicking and screaming to the bathtub was fresh in my mind.  Apparently I was not the only one who remembered as the children cowered under my wife's glare.

            "Fine." Alley sighed reluctantly.  "We'll go, but can we have a story?"

"Yeah, a story! A story!" The twins chanted. " Uncle Les a story! One about the newsies!"

"Well, er…" The fifteen-year-olds eyes darted between the children and us.  "Oh please Uncle Les." They pouted.  After receiving a nod from Holly and myself, Les caved.  

"Well, alright but you've got to get washed up and in bed first."  Excitedly the three siblings rushed for the bathroom.  

            They already knew the story of the strike, so tonight Les had decided to tell them a different story, a story about David Jacobs and Spot Conlon.  The two had become close after Jack had left and Spot was surprised with how much David was like Jack.  When he looked into David's eyes he could see the same recklessness, the same longing for adventure, for freedom.  

            It was an amusing little story involving the Delancey's, pies, and a lot of public humiliation (a/n: I'll let you fill in the blanks.)  I smiled remembering the looks on their faces while we smirked at them as they realized there was nothing they could do to us in front of all those people.  When the story came to an end Marina looked up at me with bright innocent eyes, "Daddy are we related to Spot Conlon?"

            Frozen in shock I didn't know what to say.  Les wasn't helping any either, sitting there trying unsuccessfully to stifle his laughter.  I suppose I would be laughing too had it been David's daughter asking him if the King of Hearts was a real person, but this is my daughter, these are my children and they are asking the unexplainable.  I always knew they would one day make the connection but never this soon, never.  " Are we Daddy?"

"I bet he's not even real Rina." Allison stated matter-of-factly. 

"Yes he is." Matt countered.  "Carlos said that the strike was real and the story made newspapers all across the country.  And he said that, when Jack Kelly came to Santa Fe his dad worked with him in the mines.  So if Cowboy is real then so is Spot, cuz he's gotta be, he's just gotta!"  Now it was my turn to laugh, receiving an odd look from Les. 

"I'm sorry it's just that he sounded so much like Dav-" Then, suddenly aware that my children's eyes were bulging at me excitedly awaiting me to finish my sentence and confirm all suspicions of our family's origin. " I mean Matt sounded exactly like your brother the first time I met him Les." The suspicion remained in their eyes as we said good night.  

            I led Les outside for a walk in the warm night air of Santa Fe.  "I don't know if we should tell them any more stories." I started as we reached the pasture.  "Why not? They love them, they absolutely adore the Newsies."

"That's just the thing." I sighed glancing at my hands. " I don't want them to adore the Newsies, I don't want them to want that life.  They deserve better then we ever had Les!"

"I just don't understand why you don't tell them that you are the famous Spot Conlon.  I mean you used to be so proud of who you are and now you hide."

" God damit Les! I'm Erik Conlon, Spot Conlon died years ago and he's never coming back! Do you hear me, never!"

"But don't you miss your old life?  Don't you ever wish that we were still in New York? Don't you ever wonder what it would be like if we stayed?"

"Ya, sometimes I wonder, I wonder why we ever did those crazy things.  I mean we were into that stuff and look where it got us! Everyone's gone and it's all are fault too!"

"But, if we went back…"

"I work in a friggin' commerce bank Les! I'm never going back and I'm keeping my children as far away from New York as I can!"

"But it wasn't your fault! You couldn't have stopped the Delancey's from starting that gang, nobody could have. And you couldn't just stand by and watch them hurt people either, especially fellow newsies! You had a cause to fight for, just like the strike!  Spot, when you feel so deeply about a cause that you are willing to lay down your life defending it, that is when you know it's all worth it. That's what Davy told me."

            "When we, your brother and I, started that gang we never intended to KILL people.  We just wanted to keep the peace; to keep the Delancey's in line.  We thought we could do it, but…" Holding my hands in front of my face made me want to cry, only Spot Conlon never cries, even when he's just Erik. 

            "But, David and I, we meant to hurt Morris, we were convinced that the only way to weaken the Jets was to immobilize their leaders.  We meant to mess him up bad and we ended up killing him."

"Ya, but…"

"I killed a man! He's dead, he wasn't supposed to die but the bastard did!  How can they be proud of that? How can they be proud of a father who killed a man?"

" He would have killed you, and you know it. It was self-defense.  Besides with his rap sheet he deserved to die, he was asking for it.  Somebody had to do something and it ended up being you and David who were burdened with the responsibility."

After a long silence Erik finally spoke.  

"You just don't get it Les.  You don't understand and there's no way that you could because you weren't there, you didn't kill him.  I won't hold that against you. David didn't want you mixed up in everything. I didn't understand why then but now that I have Allison, Marina, and Mathew I understand completely.  David didn't want you to end up like him he didn't want you to end up like me either.  The two of us became so wrapped up in our cause that we had lost sight of what we were fighting for. We didn't realize that we had become no better than the Delancey's." 

            Holding up his hands, Erik allowed a few stray tears to slide down his face. "Look Les, do you see them? Do see the blood? It'll never go away. The blood of one Morris Delancey is my everlasting reminder that sometimes what starts as the good fight becomes part of the madness that you're willing to lay your life down to get rid of."

              Spot's hands were raw stained with his own blood.  He just couldn't wipe the memory of Morris's blood from his mind.   Les looked on sadly at his colorblind friend.  He had often wondered what the black and white world Spot saw was like.  Now he knew, he knew that Spot saw a dreary gray world stained in blood red.  Spot had given up on the world years ago.

 Les now hugged the man, who was crying, in an attempt to comfort him because now he understood that the only thing keeping Spot alive was his family.  "I'm sorry Erik, I'm so sorry."   It was the only thing he could think to say. So the two just sat there in silence, Erik struggling to regain his composure and Les wondering why he had wanted to return to New York.  "Les do you, do you think we'll ever catch a break?"

Smiling Les placed a hand on Erik's shoulder, "I think we already have. You have a family now Spot, a family that loves you and needs you. And you have Holly who's been with you since square one. She's your love and your hope; she guides you through your dark times. You love them and so do I."  For the first time in six years Spot sincerely smiled while the two gazed at the Santa Fe sunset their old friend Jack had always longed to see.

                                                            ~Fin~

A/N:  Well that's it! Hope you like it and I'm sorry I didn't post it sooner.  I've had it written for a while it was just a matter of typing it. And of course you already know my excuse for that, schoolwork.  Well later days!

                                                          SaL


	2. Whispers in the Night

Nobody wants to do the Crazy Things We Used to do before

By SaL

Chapter 2: Whispers in the Night

A/N:  After I wrote this everyone was like 'you can't end it like that!' I've asked for input and I've been playing w/ a few ideas. I hope it's to your liking. 

~*~

*Two years later*

            "The Conlon's had been running from their past for years.  Never before had they been so ashamed of their previous lives in New York.  In those years they never imagined living opposite lives across the country.  But having children really does change everything as they soon discovered.  They finally had a chance to make things right, to give their children the lives they've always dreamed of.

            So, for eight years Erick and Holly made their home in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  Erick had worked long and hard hours at a commerce bank while Holly turned to teaching. I had even found a job on a farm to add to our income, Spot hadn't allowed me to work in the mines though I'd make more money.  Their lifestyles had changed dramatically since their move and they were trying desperately to ignore the memories of their painful pasts.

            The Conlon's and I are part of the same past in New York though they try to escape it whereas I struggle to embrace it.  I miss our friends but most of all I miss my family.  We-I-I don't belong here. Santa Fe was Jack's dream not mine I belong in New York.  I know Erik doesn't want to return, but it's my home and like it or not he has to face the past sometime! It won't just disappear it's a part of who he is, who we all are and no one can change that!  Which brings me to the point of this conversation, David, the Conlon's are so concerned with forgetting their past they never imagined that their past might come back to haunt them, as they put it."  Les paused taking the time to admire the landscape of the ranch at night.  Spot and Hope had long since put the children to be and retired for the night.

            Les had decided to take a walk.  Ever since they came to Santa Fe he had trouble sleeping.  So he sat on the wooden fence running along the property line as his horse took a drink from the lake.  Sighing he remembered how David had the same problem when he was alive.  David would often go weeks even months with out sleep and sometimes he drop like a sack of potatoes every night for a year.  

            Sighing Les ran a hand tiredly through his hair and resumed his conversation with David.  He knew his brother was dead but he believed David never left him, that he was still there watching his every move. Les enjoyed believing David to be his guardian angel that he was always there and could still hear him.  So Les spoke to him as often as he could.  It was had to get a moments peace what with living with the Conlon's and working on a ranch.   

            "I have somewhat terrible news David but I'm sure you already know what it is.  Marina's real sick and the doctors here can't do anything for her.  They recommended that we take her to a hospital in New York but you know Spot's problem with that.  He's been trying to find a hospital closer however none have the medicine or technology that Marina needs.  I offered to take her there so he wouldn't have to face his past.  Like it or not he's coming along, because though he denies it he's still the same old Spot that we know and love." 

            It was late and Les had some packing to do before he and Erik would take Marina and Mathew with them to NYC.  He grabbed hold of the reins and slid into the saddle.  "Next time we talk we'll be home.  Goodnight David."  The boy whispered into the wind.  As he turned and began galloping toward the small house, Les could have sworn he'd heard his brother whisper 'See ya in New York little guy'.  

~*~

A/N: Ok I know you were expecting a little more but just wait for the third chapter it'll be a lot better. Here's a few things to remember:

            Spot's real name is Erik

            Hope's real name is Holly she was a newsie too and she's Spot's wife

            Allison is their first child she's 10 in this chapter since it's 2 years later

            Mathew and Marina are twins and both are now 6  (think of them as little versions of Spot)

           Les lives with them he's now 17 in this chapter and fro the rest of the story

Ok so the next chapter will definitely have more dialogue and Spot will be in it.  I hope you like the story so far!


	3. Hang On

Nobody wants to do the Crazy Things We Used to do before

By SaL

Chapter 3: Hold On

A/N:  Ok this chapter isn't as long as I hoped but I decided at the last minuet that I had to add this into the story.  Hope you enjoy!  

~*~

            I glanced at the bed where my wife was sitting with an impassive look on her face; though I knew she was worried.  I could see the tears pooling in her eyes as she blinked them back.  Setting some shirts in my suitcase, I took a seat beside her.  She turned her bright green eyes my way and I reached out to brush away the tears.  As I wrapped my arms about her slim frame, she no longer had the strength to fight the grief.  "Shhhh" I murmured while stroking her soft hair.

            We remained in that position for what seemed like an eternity.  She rested her head upon my chest and I could feel the wet tears soaking my shirt.  One hand continued to stoke her hair while the other was rubbing circular motions against her back.  "Shhh, shhh… it's gonna be ok, everything's gonna be alright."  I whispered in a desperate tone as I struggled to believe there was truth to the words.  "The doctors in New York, they'll be able to help her for sure."

"I-I know, it's just that New York…" She sniffled.

"Don't worry about the kids, I'll be right there with them.  Hell I was Brooklyn!  They couldn't be in safer hands."

"I-It's not that.  I mean I know you'll protect them but…" She lifted her head and held my gaze, "I'm more worried about you, Spot."  Taken aback I responded, "Wha-what do you mean? I'll be fine."

"Oh Spot" she sobbed.

Suddenly Les appeared silently, leaning in the doorframe his gaze never connecting with ours.  He'd packed during the night and had gotten Marina and Mathew's bags ready as well.  Poor kid's been having trouble sleeping ever since his brother's death.  Slowly I stood from my position and continued to stuff my bag with necessities. Holly too stood, wiping the tearstains from her face; she left in search of the children.

Sighing I closed the case zipping it shut.  The bed with the quaint quilted comforter Holly simply had to have was perfectly made.  On either side stood a night table each adorned with our respective items. A grand picture hung above the headboard depicting the New York skyline.  It had been a wedding gift bought with funds collected by the newsies, the only part of our past we allowed in our home.  Never in my entire life had I imagined the possibility of living in my own house on a ranch that I owned.  It was definitely a dream come true for my friend whom I followed out here.  

Often I wonder what happened to him.  I expected to run into him somewhere around these parts.  Maybe that's why I came out here, I wanted to see how he did it.  How he dealt with his past, New York.  It definitely would have been easier having a friend around who understood.  There is Les, though I consider him more of a brother, he knows what it was like, however he doesn't fully comprehend it.

With another heavy sigh, I duck my head and turn away from the room.  Les waits patiently in the doorway while I collect my baggage.  As I exit the room dragging the suitcase behind me, he places a hand on my shoulder looking at me with those knowing blue eyes.  And for the first time in my life I get the feeling that someone may really understand.   

            Quickly averting my eyes I began my descent through the eerily silent house.  Les followed closely and we made our way out the front door toward the lightly loaded wagon.  I motioned for Les to hitch the horses while I collected my children.  However before I approached the threshold Allison came speeding into me with Mathew close behind.  She hugged me fiercely before turning her pleading eyes my way while I struggled to resist their allure. 

"I want to come too, Daddy.  Can I? Pretty please." She pouted. 

"I'm sorry Allison but you need to stay here."

"Why? Mathew can go.  Why can't I?"

"Because somebody has to stay home and keep your mother company."

"Mother can come too."  She said innocently.

"Then who will look after the ranch?  No you have to stay, that's that."

"It isn't fair!"  Allison whined. 

"Tell you what, if your extra good while we're away I'll bring you something special and we'll see about you maybe taking a trip to New York some other time."

Smiling Allison agreed, happy with the response.  Mathew, who had been 'helping' Les, then ran toward his older sister slapping her back.  "You're it!" He cried while running as fast as possible in the opposite direction.  Shaking his head Erik entered the home emerging moments later cradling his youngest daughter in his arms.  Les broke up the game of tag to give Holly and Allison time for their goodbyes.  

            Kneeling down, Holly embraced her son fighting her tears.  "Now you be a good boy for your daddy and uncle you hear?"

"Uh-huh" he boy nodded tears streaming his face.  Matt threw his small arms around his mother's neck.  "I love you mommy."  He sobbed.

"I love you too sweetie. Be careful and have fun."  She managed while drying her son's face.  Next came Marina who had had hot tears in eyes for days.  Marina merely stared up at her mother with an anguished stare. "I don wanna go!"  She cried out. 

"I know Rina, I know."  She whispered while stroking the little girl's hair.  "You're gonna be alright, honey, I promise."  

Marina sighed and cuddled closer to her father.  Meanwhile Erik glanced at his wife with a glint in his eyes that reminded her of Spot.  She embraced him in a loving hug, as they separated Erik merely nodded turning to board the wagon.  Les, who had finished his preparations, approached Holly with Allison atop his shoulders.  Setting her down he gave her a hug, then turned to Holly.  As they embraced she whispered, "take care of Spot".  

"You can count on me."  Came the response as he took the drivers seat and began the long drive toward the train station.  As the wagon began to move further away from the house little Marina started to scream.  "Mommy! Come with us mommy!"

"Shhh" Spot soothed.  "No! I want mommy!"  The girl cried and Spot turned to see his home was already out of sight.  He began to wonder how long they'd be away and if he would be able to survive.

            At the house Holly had sent Allison around to her chores.  She had heard her daughter's cries and prayed for them.  Holly knew Les would keep both eyes on Erik but she also knew that he was becoming Spot again and wouldn't appreciate that.  Desperately she hoped Spot would accept Les's help because he needed it.  As she turned to enter her home, Holly collapsed to the ground and sobbed ceaselessly.  

~*~


	4. Can't Stop Dreaming

Nobody wants to do the Crazy Things We Used to do before

By SaL

Chapter 4: Can't stop Dreaming

The troubled family boarded the train in silence.  Les threw their baggage above their seat while Eric took a seat near the aisle with Marina in his lap.  Mathew climbed in on his right excitedly.  

Les claimed the bench opposite them, leaning his head back on the maroon cushioned bench.  The train lurched forward and Matt gave a squeal of glee, pressing his hands and forehead against the window.  He wanted to be awake in order to see everything there was to be seen so he could explain every detail to Allison and his friends.

Les adverted his gaze from Matt to Eric, whose eyes had also been watching his son and began to grow cloudy.  Reflecting on the man before him, Les fell into a daze.  

Eric and his wife Holly were amazing people.  They possessed two completely different personalities.  As newsies in New York, they were tough and defensive, with hardened harts from living on the streets.

Spot had never before allowed himself to show any emotions or to get too close to anyone.  He believed such things to be a weakness.  Hope had once felt she couldn't trust anyone.  She often cheated to get her way.  

Santa Fe opened new possibilities for the couple.  There life wasn't too bad, the land was cheep, and they were treated far better.  In Santa Fe they were free to be themselves without having to uphold a reputation.  Spot could go by his true name Eric, and Hope could once more be Holly. The two became more compassionate and had turned into wonderful parents.  And Les, well he had changed too, perhaps not as dramatically but change is change.  Les had had more time to reflect while tending the Conlon's ranch.  In doing so he became a lost man.  He was happy, very much so. He just always seemed to be searching for something; problem was he was never quite sure what it was.

The sky gradually grew dark as the clouds crammed together.  Soon a great eruption of thunder sounded followed by a crack of lightning and the rains pored from the heavens.  The teen sighed as he remembered how life had been when they'd first arrived in Santa Fe.  It had been raining then too, the day they left New York.  His parents had come to the station to see him off.  They had been huddled under the dry platform with his mother crying hysterically as he struggled with all his will power against it.

**…**

"Oh Les dear, you'll write us every chance you get won't you?"

"Yes Mama"

"You'll be sure not to forget us?"

"No Mama"

"Must you really go so far?  Can't you stay in the state at least?"

"Now Esther, we've discussed this thoroughly and came to agree that this is the best solution for everyone.  This is our chance to finally give him a better life."  Mayer spoke up.

"I know, its just… he's my baby!  I've already lost two children, I don't want to loose you too Les."

"You won't Mama"

            Esther held out her arms and embraced her youngest child.  The approaching train sounded encouraging the mother to cling to her son one last time.  "I… I have to go. The train… Mama, please" He pleaded refusing to let the tears fall.  " I love you both, you know that, but I've… I have to leave now.  Goodbye."

            And with that Les joined his companions on the train.  And as they slowly pulled away he hadn't looked back, he hadn't wanted to for her knew his mother was watching the locomotive chugging along in tears within his father's arms.  He slouched in his seat between Spot and Hope glancing out at the storm, all the while thinking _'it wasn't supposed to happen this way.  David should be here, Sarah should be here, Jack should be here and the newsies should have seen us off.'_    But it did no good to anyone to dwell in the past, as David had said once.  Of course that had been under far different circumstances, but he felt that it applied here. 

            That had been the first time he'd ever been on a train.  Now he rode them so often to neighboring towns and cities for supplies that it had become such a normalcy in his life.  Yet still he was not able to board a train, even for a short while, without remembering that first time.

            Suddenly the train jerked to a stop, drawing Les from his thoughts.  Starring at the occupants of the bench opposite his own, Les noticed that Mathew had dozed off with his little chin still resting on the window, Marina too had fallen into a feverish sleep, and Eric's mind still appeared to be elsewhere as he continued his blind stare out the window.  Quietly Les got to his feet and made his way to the dining car.   

Upon entering he was greeted with the sounds and smells of the restaurants and canteens of the west.  He ordered a ginger ale, a plate of eggs and slid into an isolated seat by the windows.  Once again the train lurched forward and Les was lost in thoughts of the past…

When they had first arrived in Santa Fe they had stayed at a run down inn.  The community grew suspicious of the teen couple who had arrived with a young boy.  So the following morning Spot had set into town alone, to scrounge up some land.  He met a bank holder who eventually sold him a decent piece of land for a negotiated price.

The bank holder was a fat rather stumpy looking man.  He seemed to be a serious sort of person with fixed eyes, set above a knobby nose and keen smile.

"So you want to buy some land, eh?" the man sneered "for that wife and son of yours?"

"Brother" Spot corrected with a tone of warning in his voice.  "And it ain't any of your business why I want land."

"I make it my business to know everything about everybody in this town before I go giving land away, boy."  The man's lips curled up in a swindling way.  He felt satisfied that he'd trapped this boy into a corner, Spot could tell.  He knew the type, here was a man who knew everyone's dark secrets and used them to his advantage.  Spot had half a mind to take the man out right there in the tavern to show the man just what he thought of him. Instead he restrained himself to only go as far as spitting on the man before leaving.  He'd promised Holly a new life and he couldn't get that by starting a fight on their first day in what they hoped would become their new home.

            "That's no way to get what you want boy! Just what the hell do you think your doing?"  The bank holder called after Spot.  He had never been so appalled in his life; no one had ever walked out on him before and he hated to loose business. 

"You're not the only goddamned bank holder in the country!" Spot snapped over his shoulder.  

True to his word, he'd found a second bank holder.  A tall, thin, kindly old man called Mathew Wendell.  He'd negotiated a nice plot of suitable ranching land.  Mr. Wendell had taken an instant liking and respect toward Spot and recommended some carpenters to him in addition to a job offer, which Spot gladly took up.   

            They're lives in Santa Fe had started beautifully.  While their home was being built the three worked long and hard to pay the hired help.  Spot had been given a desk job in the bank after Mr. Wendell had given him a crash course in how it operated.  Les became a ranch hand and even worked a couple of weekends in the mines.  Holly found a seamstress and offered her assistance, which was gladly taken.  

Since then their lives had carried on like a dream.  Les had invested money in horses, becoming an excellent breeder. Their ranch was extremely successful in addition to Spot's job at the Wendell's small commerce bank.    

Sighing Les wondered what had become of their dream life.  Everything had been so perfect, before his insomnia had struck, before the news of his father's passing on and his mother moving to live with her sister in Pennsylvania, before Marina had taken ill.  He drank a second ginger ale before paying his bill and slowly returned to his seat.  

Les lay on his bench with the back of his head leaning against the window.  Eric had finally fallen asleep; his face resting against the window just above his son's and little Marina snuggled in his arms.  

Never had any of the Newsies imagined their lives would change so drastically.  '_In fact_,' Les mused, '_if anyone had suggested that I would move to Santa Fe with Spot and Hope because the Newsies would become a gang and David died in a rumble_, _I would have laughed.'_

Chuckling lightly, Les pulled his cap over his face, closed his eyes, and dreamt of better days. _'Maybe'_ he thought, _'Maybe I'll wake up in New York and this would have all been a dream.' _


End file.
